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Bluejisms

I often find myself wanting—nay needing—to describe a thing or situation in a succinct and powerful way only to discover that the word or one-liner doesn’t exist! Perfect! There is nothing I like better than coining new jargon, except for maybe jargoning new coinage. In this page, I will attempt to track and catalogue the Bluejisms—yes, I just wrote Bluejism and yes Bluejism is itself a Bluejism. Think of this as a high-brow—nay, mono-brow—urban dictionary. As usual, Bluejisms will appear in reverse chronological order. Check back frequently.

Bluejism, n.—A word or phrase coined by Philly Bluejay. Pronounced Bluejay-ism. Ad nominem.

Hellacene, n.—The climatic-geological epoch following the Holocene and the one which we are now entering. The Hellacene is distinguished by rising global temperatures, increased frequency and violence of extreme weather events, rising sea levels, a loss of biodiversity, and a general deterioration of ecological conditions. Also, the first anthropogenic epoch. The Hellacene could potentially be followed by a reprise of the Proterozoic Era in which only primitive unicellular life inhabited earth.

Koolaid-boarding, n.—The act of forcing your Koolaid (usually about cloud computing) down someone else’s throat until they feel like they are going to drown. Currently under review for addition to the third Geneva Convention protocol covering prisoners of war.

Kloud, n.—The Koolaid associated with cloud computing.

Taser!, excl.—What you call when you want to sit across from someone as opposed to next to them. The intended analogy is to “Shotgun!”. A shotgun is a weapon whose twin business terminals are side-by-side and facing the same direction. A taser is a weapon whose twin business terminals face one another.

Ad nominem, adj. (?)—Devaluing a statement made by someone because they have a childish, redneckish, egregiously mis-spelled, or hilariously mis-pronounceable name. Categorical archetypes are “Chip”, “Billy Bob”, “Anfernee”, and “John Boehner”.

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